Celebrating loneliness…

Have been thinking a lot lately that what is this one thing that we are all really scared of (besides death of course)? If not scared then at least we do not wish upon it. I’m not really the kinds like a people’s person. There are very, very few that I would actually let in. But, I have been trying to find out how is it with the ones, who are socially upfront and open and confident. This was just to see what is that one good or bad or just neutral common element that matters just about same, for any of these breeds (both like and unlike me)?

There has been this phase in my life which binds me in a certain routine which has forced me to think of all this. I work for five days in a week and run on a Friday night bus usually, to meet and stay at my friends’ for the weekend. Wondering that it would be lonely or just idle or, if nothing else it was the love for my childhood friends. May be it was all of it. And then I get this weekend at my place, alone. And though it occurred to me quite a number of times and I have been avoiding it, I just gave in this time. I sat and wondered why I didn’t want to spend any time alone with myself when I have done it plenty of times in my life earlier. And all I could think was that, though we don’t do drugs it doesn’t really mean that we don’t have addictions. There are so many things that we are addicted to. It could be our wonderful gadgets, clothes, parties, or even work. But what I felt was that it was mostly about people. I’m not stating a judgment that like all other addictions this one is bad or good.

Just that it occurred to me that we celebrate all the special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, achievements and everything that remind us of our happiness and the importance of the people around us. With no offence to the relationships that make our lives beautiful, but, there is one thing that we hardly ever thought of celebrating. What we mostly do is sleep, watch a movie, read a book and of course stay hooked to our phone and internet. Yet again, it’s about the world outside. We hardly celebrate the fact that we have got some time with us. Well… may be there is nothing really special about being alone. But that’s the newness about it and that is…. To make it special! To celebrate nothing, but us.

And that’s how I also found an answer to my initial question. That ‘loneliness’ is that one thing that we all wish to outrun so much that at times we start running away from our own selves. And I could feel this way and also write about it cos I just celebrated a day with myself. Not cursing but… celebrating loneliness.