LIFE OF A CRIPPLED!

Want this day to end, want this time to stop,

Right here, right now wish I could get absorbed.

There’s no movement now n everything stands still,

Even the sands of time have turned into a hill.

In this desert I look for an oasis or just life,

But all I see are these pyramids standing high.

But these pyramids assure me that once there was life,

These huge pieces of stones-no- they won’t lie.

I see myself engraved in these stones somewhere,

A breath I took when even I was unaware.

I must have been put there since I dint move,

Dint budge from my shelf not even to prove,

Prove of my being and of my existence over here,

Cos the shelf was so closed and hidden from the fear.

Fear to step out, to know the world not yet known,

To find how good or bad it may be from what is known.

But guess it’s time to get over with this act of denial,

And now I guess I would be forced to face the trial.

That’s the reason I ask it to stop, to freeze, to end,

Cos it’s out in the open and there is no more pretence.

Wish to get stoned, not on a look out any more,

Or just wish to get that faith back which once got me to this shore.

Cos it’s too hard to walk now since these crutches pain too much.

And also, the life of a crippled isn’t fun as such!

Every painful incident teaches us something.

“Why did this happen to me?”, “What so bad did I do that I have to go through such a mishap?”, “why me always?” These are some questions that we all ask to ourselves, the moment we are hit by an unexpected event that is painful. We fail to make out what could the possible reason behind us becoming the victim without any fault of ours. The answers are way beyond some most commonly words like fate or destiny. These answers are hidden somewhere we cannot easily reach. But, where we can reach is the place where our control lies, where the gravity of our true self lies!

 Every painful incident teaches us something. It brings en face some truth, that we never paid any attention to, until they happened to us. The bigger the loss, the greater is the pain. And then, we must remember that the lesson hidden for us behind it must be big too. Its jus that when it all happens to us, we are over taken by this cyclone of emotions that takes away our ability to think, to rationale to reason and the strength to face the situation. This is all because we tend to give in against these situations and allow our emotions to make us feeble enough. So, we just end up surrendering.

But what I have discovered with my own experiences is that any accident that we face is an unsolved puzzle thrown before us which has a piece missing. The thing that causes the pain is the ‘missing piece. It’s the other end that we have to reach to find the missing piece. To find why is the pain necessary for us? How and when does it end? Or will it ever end?

The pain ends as soon as we find our learning from that incident i.e. if we are able to see the reason why it happened so. Like, why do i look for care from others and why does every time the person who gives that care leaves me? So, the question to be asked here is why do I seek care? Was it something I missed in childhood? Is this the cup that was left half empty when I was not mature enough to realize it. So, what do I do to fill it myself? Seek for people or external stimulants every time to fill some of it for the time being? Or, just create it inside me for others and so much that I feel it too when I give it? Only we can answer it! This is one way how we can look at it all with a bird’s eye! Then we’re able to see how it all happened to us while we were simply drenched in our emotions.

It is only then that we get to know if there were some unseen and un-thought of sides too to the whole incident. Thus, bringing in new perspectives to not only those concerned with the experience, but in fact to almost everything around us. And it’s totally up to us how we embrace this change. Also, the way we apply this new perspective in our lives further. That is because after every such incident we end up making decisions. Decisions as to how we will treat ourselves after the painful experience also, how we would treat our life, our relations and every other following experience. No matter how much we postpone but ultimately we come to terms with the loss and its pain and we move on. Evolved!

 So, it’s entirely up to us that how much do we delay this evolution and keep ourselves jammed in remorse. That is, when do we decide to reach the other end to complete our puzzle?

A life without fear

A life without fear

This was what I had asked for,

Cos there was nothing, that I wanted more

I wanted to find a place, where I was free,

The place where I had the feel like my own territory

Not long ago I was granted my wish,

It was here that my boundaries got unleashed.

It was three years back that I joined a language course in IIT- K. I fell in love with the place ‘at first sight’ and in the ‘first feel’. And I have always believed that it’s the feel that matters.  The place was away from the city and its rush, noise and pollution. It was quiet there and a strange serenity ran all over it. And one could easily feel that behind this calmness was another world. World of those who lived or studied or taught there. For them it could have been different. But for us (my friends and me) it was a whole new space of our own. The place had a calling. It made us want to become a part of it. Cos it had a sense of belongingness.

That was the place which inspired me to do something more than what I had been doing. Made me want to move out and explore. I didn’t know that which path would lead where, but, I just remember ‘asking for’ a similar place where the mind could be as free, to imagine and to explore. And finally, two years later, I found such a place, my college, IWSB.

This was another place located little far and away from civilization. At times it almost felt like being in the outer space. But, that’s what I liked the most about it. It was ‘away’ from all the rush and rush of the daily life. Distant from all the glitz and glitterati. But the best part here too, was the freedom and again the sense of belongingness. Where all of us were equal and no one was looked down upon. And from the very beginning it was made sure that all of us realized its system based on equality. Like one of my faculties, very inspiringly said, that it’s the system that brings about a change. An individual is just an atom of this macro system.

This learning was also ensured for the students by making us go through certain rigorous exercises and activities (outbound). It taught me how it was necessary to work in sync with the team because each one had some weakness and some strength. This made each one a weak as well as a strong link of the whole system. This was one of the very first lessons that I saw and learnt here myself, practically.

The freedom that I discovered here was kind of different. Like it gave me freedom to try, to speak, to express and feel. Inhale each breath of the air of the difference it had from the rest of the world. And, most important, ‘the freedom to make mistakes’. Because I knew that here I could fumble and stumble and no one would laugh. They might scold me and ask me to stand instantly. But, they would never discourage me. Rather the people there would inspire me by all the stories of people, both big and small, who fell and stood and made a difference. There are people who are always there when you reach out to them. Such an environment also made me understand the responsibilities attached to our each mistake, in a much better way. I no more call them consequences.

This is all that makes that place so special. A place where I have the freedom to fall, without any fear.