(Disclaimer: Some of you might
find this TLTR (too long to read) just like some felt about the movie, and for some
that laziness might kick in, so therefore, feel free to skim through just the pointers. Cheerio!)
One would expect a bunch of endearing moments with loads of sunshine from a movie with a title such as ‘Dear Zindagi’. One would also expect some revelations about 'Zindagi' itself. And truth be told, this movie is not all sunshine and beaches but, some grey clouds as well.One may or may not connect with the ‘not so endearing’ moments ingrained in the film, depending largely on whether one connects with the underlying issues raised in the film, or not. Yes! Gauri Shinde is one of those contemporary female directors who subtly raises less commonly-talked about issues of common lives, and tries to resolve them along her story.
Kaira (Alia Bhatt) is this quintessential modern, independent girl, who also seems to be a bit secretive and way more complicated in some strange way. Her life is divided in pretty much the same four-dimensions as is any bachelor’s, living in a metro away from family. The dimensions being:
· Career,
· Romantic relationship(s),
· Friends,
· and a parent on-phone!
Quite brilliant at her job (which is not fairly understood by her relatives back home), Kaira is still trying to crack her ‘Dream Break’. Whereas on the personal front, she is trying to get out of one relationship, and get over another. Alongside, there are other issues adding to the grey in her life such as;
· Her being a young, attractive, single, working-woman trying to prove her mettle only through her work
· And her being a single working-woman, living alone on rent in a city like Mumbai
It would take one quite some time to figure out why is she the way she is! For some, it might take too long and up until the second half, and that could make her character ‘not so endearing’ for all that while. However, this movie is more about a girl (a side hidden in many of us) who is leading a bit of an unfulfilled and confused life, not understanding why she is not able to open up enough in her relationships, and more visibly why can’t she get some sleep! Some would conclude that she is depressed! Depression, because that’s one term we have started to get familiar with by now, with regards to an unhealthy mental condition. Her compulsive habits such as online shopping, falling in and out of relationships, withdrawing from her family, collecting and ripping of photographs, etc. do show signs of some disorder after all.
Then pretty much like the entry of a fairy-godmother, she bumps into her to-be therapist, and from there she embarks on the journey of her transformation. She starts by enrolling herself into a therapy with Dr. Jehangir Khan (Shahrukh Khan) who catches her attention by talking about mental illness with absolutely no condescension, but with brand new outlook. With each concluded therapy session, the layers of Kaira’s mental condition start to peel-off. Dr. Khan almost reveals it to her that she has a pattern which has followed her closely and has been reflecting in all her relationships. This pattern is the resultant of an emotional trauma that she went through as a very young child, and has been carrying as a secret burden, all along.
Here’s how the therapy drill goes:
· Find out what is it that scares us, and since when?
· Notice what went wrong at the time
· Go back, trace it, and connect the dots to find the pattern
· Once found, try and break that pattern.
· And, our dreams talk to us. All we need to do is listen.
Soon, these sessions help Kaira to not only view herself in a completely new light, but also accept her parents and other people around her with no baggage of the past.
Therapy Sessions:
Lesson 1: We tend to think that only the toughest route can be the right one. Sometimes, it is okay to go a bit easy on ourselves (Addition* that depends on if the choice is between the right and the easy. And, if you can’t figure what’s the right thing then doing what you are best prepared for seems to be the right thing to do)
Lesson 2: It’s important how you view and review your own self. If you demean yourself, then that’s how the world will view you.
Lesson 3: Genius is not someone who has all the answers, but, rather someone who has the patience to wait for the answers to come.
Lesson 4: ‘Kaun hain ye log’- We tend to worry a bit too much about what people think of us, and then end up being unfair to our own selves. Basically, we need to clear the clutter and spend some time to meet ourselves to find out who we really are!
Lesson 5 (For Parents): Does your child have a happy memory? Remembering a happy moment from the childhood shouldn’t be tough. It is a lot up to the parents to leave happy memories for their kids (Parents are the ghosts of their children’s past- Interstellar).
Lesson 6: “Don’t let the past blackmail your present into ruining a beautiful future”.
Lesson 7: Sometimes, we need to bring our parents down from the high-pedestal of being ‘our parents’ and see them as humans capable of making faults, just like us. (There is an expiry date on blaming your parents - J.K. Rowling)
Lesson 8: “Rona, gussa, nafrat kuch bhi khul ke express nahi karne diya, toh ab pyaar kaise express karein”! We were taught how to walk. But how to express? That ‘real walk’ of our own life is usually learnt as we truly fall in and out of love or see one of our dreams shatter; as that’s usually the first time we truly expose ourselves through expression. All these and many more such revelations are unfolded through the course of Kiara’s therapy which one can use to reflect upon and make a note of, for one’s own life.
As Dr. Khan says, “A genius is someone who knows when to stop”, and on that note, I’d like to close this session!
One would expect a bunch of endearing moments with loads of sunshine from a movie with a title such as ‘Dear Zindagi’. One would also expect some revelations about 'Zindagi' itself. And truth be told, this movie is not all sunshine and beaches but, some grey clouds as well.One may or may not connect with the ‘not so endearing’ moments ingrained in the film, depending largely on whether one connects with the underlying issues raised in the film, or not. Yes! Gauri Shinde is one of those contemporary female directors who subtly raises less commonly-talked about issues of common lives, and tries to resolve them along her story.
Kaira (Alia Bhatt) is this quintessential modern, independent girl, who also seems to be a bit secretive and way more complicated in some strange way. Her life is divided in pretty much the same four-dimensions as is any bachelor’s, living in a metro away from family. The dimensions being:
· Career,
· Romantic relationship(s),
· Friends,
· and a parent on-phone!
Quite brilliant at her job (which is not fairly understood by her relatives back home), Kaira is still trying to crack her ‘Dream Break’. Whereas on the personal front, she is trying to get out of one relationship, and get over another. Alongside, there are other issues adding to the grey in her life such as;
· Her being a young, attractive, single, working-woman trying to prove her mettle only through her work
· And her being a single working-woman, living alone on rent in a city like Mumbai
It would take one quite some time to figure out why is she the way she is! For some, it might take too long and up until the second half, and that could make her character ‘not so endearing’ for all that while. However, this movie is more about a girl (a side hidden in many of us) who is leading a bit of an unfulfilled and confused life, not understanding why she is not able to open up enough in her relationships, and more visibly why can’t she get some sleep! Some would conclude that she is depressed! Depression, because that’s one term we have started to get familiar with by now, with regards to an unhealthy mental condition. Her compulsive habits such as online shopping, falling in and out of relationships, withdrawing from her family, collecting and ripping of photographs, etc. do show signs of some disorder after all.
Then pretty much like the entry of a fairy-godmother, she bumps into her to-be therapist, and from there she embarks on the journey of her transformation. She starts by enrolling herself into a therapy with Dr. Jehangir Khan (Shahrukh Khan) who catches her attention by talking about mental illness with absolutely no condescension, but with brand new outlook. With each concluded therapy session, the layers of Kaira’s mental condition start to peel-off. Dr. Khan almost reveals it to her that she has a pattern which has followed her closely and has been reflecting in all her relationships. This pattern is the resultant of an emotional trauma that she went through as a very young child, and has been carrying as a secret burden, all along.
Here’s how the therapy drill goes:
· Find out what is it that scares us, and since when?
· Notice what went wrong at the time
· Go back, trace it, and connect the dots to find the pattern
· Once found, try and break that pattern.
· And, our dreams talk to us. All we need to do is listen.
Soon, these sessions help Kaira to not only view herself in a completely new light, but also accept her parents and other people around her with no baggage of the past.
Therapy Sessions:
Lesson 1: We tend to think that only the toughest route can be the right one. Sometimes, it is okay to go a bit easy on ourselves (Addition* that depends on if the choice is between the right and the easy. And, if you can’t figure what’s the right thing then doing what you are best prepared for seems to be the right thing to do)
Lesson 2: It’s important how you view and review your own self. If you demean yourself, then that’s how the world will view you.
Lesson 3: Genius is not someone who has all the answers, but, rather someone who has the patience to wait for the answers to come.
Lesson 4: ‘Kaun hain ye log’- We tend to worry a bit too much about what people think of us, and then end up being unfair to our own selves. Basically, we need to clear the clutter and spend some time to meet ourselves to find out who we really are!
Lesson 5 (For Parents): Does your child have a happy memory? Remembering a happy moment from the childhood shouldn’t be tough. It is a lot up to the parents to leave happy memories for their kids (Parents are the ghosts of their children’s past- Interstellar).
Lesson 6: “Don’t let the past blackmail your present into ruining a beautiful future”.
Lesson 7: Sometimes, we need to bring our parents down from the high-pedestal of being ‘our parents’ and see them as humans capable of making faults, just like us. (There is an expiry date on blaming your parents - J.K. Rowling)
Lesson 8: “Rona, gussa, nafrat kuch bhi khul ke express nahi karne diya, toh ab pyaar kaise express karein”! We were taught how to walk. But how to express? That ‘real walk’ of our own life is usually learnt as we truly fall in and out of love or see one of our dreams shatter; as that’s usually the first time we truly expose ourselves through expression. All these and many more such revelations are unfolded through the course of Kiara’s therapy which one can use to reflect upon and make a note of, for one’s own life.
As Dr. Khan says, “A genius is someone who knows when to stop”, and on that note, I’d like to close this session!
x
