It’s 4.30 a.m. in the morning. And something is keeping me up. Yes, I have a question and I couldn’t sleep. The question being, if I’m not caught, am I not a thief? Is it about morals, values, being good or freedom? Is freedom always in contradiction with the arrangement? Are all these, our personal choices or some of these are and should be a mandate and must be followed? And is there a ‘must be’ at all?
I know. Here I throw a volley of questions. But, here the question is about the core, the pedestal. Cos it encompasses it all and also directs the thinking, the supreme function. I question myself at the wee hours of this morning cos I’m facing this contradiction since a pretty long time. And I have had phases which made me draw different conclusions. Till my school days things were either ‘black or white’. There was no shade of grey. No ‘in between’ mark. Later, I saw little more and learnt that there is this ‘neither good nor bad space’ too. Even later, whenever I lost I felt that those who know how to bend the rules are clever. They are not bad. They have an art. Those who couldn’t learn this art choose to embrace the badge of morality and crib about the wrong doers (It comes out of self victimization and I’ve known it). You question your trust the most. And this is how I learnt the most. All the above stages made me question, dispute and infer and thus, helped me draw my own conclusions.
Just few days back I saw little more and added another piece to my puzzle of clarity. Apart from ignorance, love is another barricade between you and the clear. Out of love you tend to bend on your values. Question them much more than you would, if it was for a stranger. I did so too. I doubted my beliefs time and again. If someone has that ‘art’ of getting things done the easier way and benefits oneself then what’s the harm? If a person can convince others to see the loopholes in the system and make them work in his/her favor then what’s the harm? It’s just that others limited themselves. Did not make things turn in their favor, thinking that there is no such possibility. But, those who seek freedom see things differently. They see holes in the walls. They make their way out. Is that a bad thing? And I got the answer as … NO.
The internal bickering stopped for a while.
Then again, I happened to witness a discussion regarding the much talked about, rather the hottest topic of today, ‘Anna Hazare’. One of our professors talked about how things can be mishandled even when the intent is right. He stated that the problem is not about corruption, it’s about governance. The demands made are not wrong but there must be an adherence to a certain process so that the arrangement remains intact. Cos whenever the process fails, the structure fails and someone loses. And that someone loses the trust on the entire system itself too.
This made me reach the most satisfying conclusions out of all the others in all these years. I got my answer. Freedom is good and must be celebrated but the respect for the system you are in, helps maintain the harmony. One of my other professors once said that “no individual is above the system. You improve the system, individuals will improve too.” No one is and must be above the system.
But I’m always on a lookout for opinions. Let me know if any. May be there is no conclusion, and it’s all about finding the pieces, rather, the puzzle itself.
